What Singles want Married People to know
We don’t need to hear the following statements:
- You just need to become more confident.
This could be a legitimate reason, however, this is not something that’s easy to hear from others. This is not helping my confidence level, though, knowing that I seem insecure makes me overly conscious of it and then I just get more awkward.
- You’re too comfortable being single.
Okay, this could also be true. Alternately, should I be uncomfortable while I’m single? I don’t see the point in that and it seems counterproductive to the promotion of my own well-being. I’m a full person with or without a significant other. I can’t put my life on hold until I meet someone, I’d never do anything if I did that. But…I also see the concern. I like to stay where I’m comfortable.
- You should try meeting people.
This is my favorite because it implies that I haven’t thought of this or that meeting people is really that simple. People mean well but, come on, we’re all better than this suggestion.
- You’re being too picky.
There was a time in my life when I just wanted someone to be interested in me – they just had to be male and around my age, no other requirements. Thank god, nothing came out of this phase except a higher investment in my own self-worth. These days, I feel like I’m pretty realistic – I’m not perfect and I’m not expecting to find someone who is. Also, I feel like, if ever there was a time to be picky…maybe this is one of those times.
- You’ll find someone eventually.
This is the cliché line I’ve heard so many times. Aside from the whole insinuating I want to settle down one day thing, saying this often comes with more heartbreak than hope. Typical follow up-response: “Yeah, well when will that be?”
- “Wow, you must have so much free time!”
This is usually an attempt to point out the silver lining. But this sometimes implies that my schedule, and life, must be empty (and void of anything meaningful) when there isn’t a significant other in it. True, those of us who are single have just one person’s schedule to keep track of instead of two, but there are so many other important parts of our days that have nothing to do with our love lives.
- You’ll find love when you stop looking.
(Or when you least expect it.) This comment is like asking : Why are you trying so hard? No, wait: Why are you trying at all? Love will hit you on the head at the grocery store. The not-trying tack might work when you’re in college and surrounded by young single people; but in your 30s and beyond, meeting people requires effort.
What Married People want Singles to know
- No, we do have individual lives:
If someone gave me a rupee for each time I heard, ‘You are going alone? What about your husband?’ I’d be a rich woman today. Despite the fact that you are married, you can very much have your own life, your own friends and your own dreams.
- No, we don’t hate the M-I-L:
You might want to stop OD’ing on those saas-bahu serials and listen to us. It might take some adjustments and compromises but you don’t always end up hating your mother-in-law.
- No, we aren’t on a constant happy high:
Marriage brings with it its own set of problems. So no, all our woes aren’t over just because we are now married
- No, we don’t stop having sex after a while:
Your sex life once you are married might turn a tad dull but the belief that married people have no sex is wrong. Hey, we are just normal people like you. There are days when we have sex and there are days when we order in and pass out on the sofa.
- The First Year Is Not Rocking
Everything is not rosy as you would think. There are many adjustments and compromises a couple makes when they are in their initial time of marriage.
- We are still Individuals
If you think that marriage will take away your own identity, then you are wrong my friend. Having your identity even after marriage is important.
https://www.boldsky.com/relationship/beyondlove/ 2016/things-married-women-want-their-singlefriends- to-know/articlecontent-pf114010-099407.html