Marriage Pornography

Reflections:
Porn: Enhancer or Destroyer?

Porn: Enhancer or Destroyer?

Our eyes are like powerful cameras that have the power to not only capture, but also bring it up to our mental eye even after many years. Pornography is like that. Watching pornographic pictures or movies has a very deep impact as these are non-erasable pictures stored in long term memory which slowly creep into every area of life including our family and marriage.

Young couples tend to bring pornography into bedrooms to enhance or learn to make love. This however, eventually makes them enjoy the pleasure of marital love less and begin to treat each other as sexual objects. Many times, they end up equating their spouse to porn stars and expect their spouse to perform as porn stars during love making. Interestingly, what God created for a pleasurable tender experience of love between husband and wife has now been made commercial and a distorted version of it is promoted as a sex enhancer, which is absolutely false.

Sex is always enjoyed in the context of companionship, commitment, passion and spiritual intimacy. Sex just for pleasure in the moment with no commitment tends to exploit which leads to pain and desperation. Sex is God’s divine gift to human kind and it is He who made us with distinct polarity of sexes. This beautiful and enjoyable aspect of human relationships that is to be enjoyed in the context of the sacredness of a committed relationship is being destroyed by the pornography industry. Having counseled many families, I’m yet to see marriages that are strengthened through pornography, but instead we have counseled many couples with marriages that are being destroyed by pornography. So by destroying the innocence of young people early and making people sexually charged and defiled, the pornography industry has become a tool to destroy marriages and families.

Young people who are drawing pleasure from pornography tend to be sexually aggressive and often do not know how to handle their first sexual experience with their spouse. Many women recollect their first night as torturous because of a sexually charged man who has infiltrated his mind with perverted images of sexual pleasures through pornography. They treat their own spouses as objects of sexual pleasure and not as someone who needs time and space to love. This leads to further frustration in other areas of the relationship.

Sexual intimacy is a beautiful, sacred, pleasurable experience in a marriage that draws the couple closer; it is not meant to objectify or exploit. If you are struggling in this area, please seek help through our helpline, give up pornography and preserve the sacredness of your marriage.

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