Adoption Parenting

Is Your Child Your Own?

Reflections: Is your child your own?

A friend of mine who longed for a child, finally decided to adopt after 10 years of marriage. In one of our conversations, he asked me a pointed question, “Can you really say that your child is your ‘own’?”

For a second, I was perplexed but I quickly understood the depth of his question. People who suddenly saw this beautiful child with this precious couple started asking the question, “Is this your own child?” The question made him ponder; does any parent actually own their child? When we buy a car or any other object, we pay a price and no one can make any claim to it except the one who buys it. But can the same logic be applied to a child?

Children are a gift given to us by our creator and not an object of our ownership. Parents are only stewards and not owners. Our perspective about our child is really important. The trouble often begins when parents feel they are owners and not stewards.

They want the child to grow up the way they desire and often use various means to get their desire fulfilled. Many times, this often yields negative results and soon they realize they really don’t own their child. If there is one person who can claim ownership of any human being is the one who gives life and the one who can take away life from this world.

Some children come into our life by “love making”, while some children come into our life by “love choosing”. No child is born without the involvement of a father and mother. Every child has been given and has been brought into this world for a purpose. In Gods vocabulary there is no word as “orphan”. Nobody is born an orphan, but often some become orphaned because they are uncared for and unloved by the stewards who are responsible for them. There are exceptions of course in the case of parents passing away due to illness or accidents. But with so many in this world who long to have children, I don’t think any child should be alone or feel abandoned.

The stigma sometimes around Adoption comes from the thought, who does the child belong to? If any of you have been influenced by such thoughts, let me reiterate that nobody owns their child. All of us belong to God, who in my view is the loving father of all. If we are recipients of God’s love, we cannot deny that love to a child who needs it. Inspiring stories by Ms. Aloma Lobo and the story of children, who have been given a home, should be able to help at least some of you to take the bold step of giving a child a home. After all, do we truly own our kids?

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