Counselling Family Infertility

Reflections: Casting Your Net On The Other Side?

Casting Your Net On The Other Side?

During my travel over the last two months I met many couples who desire a child but have been unable to conceive for reasons unknown and they shared this with me as a prayer concern. In my conversation with them, I realized the pain they go through comes not only from their inability to conceive but also the pressure from family and society.

Barren women have gone through this pain from time immemorial. The desire to have a child is an inbuilt factor, though a few like the DINK’s (Double Income No Kids) have chosen not to have kids; their true motives I fail to understand.

We are created with the DNA of wanting to multiply which was God’s command when he created the first human. “Be fruitful and multiply”. With the population explosion in our country, we have always taken life for granted and have always seen life as a product of chance rather than a gift from God. Couples who have been going through the agony of childlessness can testify to the miracle of life more than anyone else.

Even with all the advancement of medical sciences, the creation of life is still a mystery. I wanted to know from a well known embryologist (the wife of my childhood friend) what she felt when all her best attempts fail. She says in the affirmative that there is something beyond scientific methods which is in control (her complete answers in the below panel).

Q: In spite of all your best efforts when your attempts fail, how do you view it?

A: The biggest challenge that almost becomes an emotional trauma is conveying the news to the couples. The couples, although they are aware of the success rates and also sign informed consent to that extent, are devastated when reality hits them. We try to soften the blow with psychological counseling and encourage them to stay hopeful and relaxed. We encourage them to try another cycle if we determine that there is even a slight window of opportunity. The fact remains that there is something beyond these scientific methods that is in control of the whole process.

Q: What would your advice be to couples who have gone through repeated failed attempts?

A: We advise couples that if there is a window of opportunity for conception then they should at least try a few cycles if their resources permit, but more importantly we advise couples to be relaxed mentally and physically. To remain positive and never to lose hope. We also advise couples with lower chances, to consider adoption and there are instances of very happy families as a result. Post adoption couples conceive too!

Dr. Sasikala Natarajamani. MBBS, M Med Sci (ART), UK, EMB (ACE) Scientific Director – Crea Conceptions (P) Ltd. e-mail:

When we know God as the author of life, we need to acknowledge God’s sovereignty to give and take life, rather than use God as a last option when all human attempts fail. To know God’s sovereign hand even in the process of conception and to seek Him from the beginning is important. I’m reminded of the story in the Bible when a disciple of Jesus called Peter, who was by profession a fisherman, fished the whole night and caught nothing. While he was washing his nets disappointed and upset, Jesus gets into his boat and asks him to cast his net on the other side. Professional fisherman knows this is a futile exercise as the boat is near the shore and the day has already broken, but in obedience he did it and the net was filled to the extent of tearing.

When Jesus is in the boat and when we heed His voice and obey Him, a miracle that defies all understanding can take place. But are we ready to trust Him with our anxieties, our worries and troubles? As suggested by Dr. Sasikala, please don’t rule out adoption. Become a parent to a parentless child who is also going through pain, the agony of being an orphan. Who knows, that may be your call to obedience to God in casting the net on the other side when all your human efforts have failed.

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